Wow! In just a few days I will be doing my very first fast as a Muslim sister! Wow! I am excited and nervous but I do know Allah will help me and give me strength. So what have I and my daughter been doing to prepare? Well I want us to learn together what it is so I have been reading much and my daughter is happy because she gets to decorate but that will have to wait till after we move, which is Monday!
What are my goals for Ramadam:
1. To fast each day that I can ( I know I will miss 5 but I can do it every other day)
2. I can do extra dua( prayer every day)
3. I will read the Quran every day that I can.
4. Learn the Salat better.
How am I preparing? I’m trying to get my body ready with less sugars and junk, I am reading and learning as much as I can about this holy month, and I’m talking to friends of mine about this holy month. I wish each of you a very good Ramadam one that is full of blessings.
Yesterday I had my eyes opened a bit about it means to be a Muslim in Toronto. I really really thought that we lived in a city that was multicultural open and accepting. Let me tell you what happened yesterday. My girlfriend who is also a white Canadian revert and I decided we needed to go shopping. So we get in her car and go. We had a great time got a nice basic black abaya for me and a few scarves too. On the way home a police car pulls behind the one we are in and basically follows us for miles. My girlfriend comments to me that since she put on the the hijab she gets followed and stopped more frequently nearly 10 times the rate as when she didn’t wear it. Can we say that the Toronto Police Department has a problem with profiling! I would love to see the stats on who gets the most tickets broken down ethnically, and then when it comes to females and tickets see how many are given to hijab wearing women. It personally made me mad that in a country that is supposed to be free that this can and does happen every day.
By the way there was absolutely no reason for the police car to follow us in a slow moving lane on the DVP when the other lanes where going faster. Absolutely none. Not a single signal was forgotten, we where in the right lane and moving with traffic. Got to say this white Canadian Muslim now was a beef with the Toronto Police Department.
I am on vacation currently and as I travel I find myself a lone Muslim in a small Canadian town. I am in Nova Scotia visiting family and the closest masjid is an hour away by car. I am just outside a town called Pictou. You may of heard of it or traelled through it if you took the ferry to Prince Edward Island.
I came to visit my mother who lives here. I find because there is no exposure to Islam in the lives of real up close Muslims people here including my mom have weird ideas. All they see are the Muslims that make the news and that is not good. It makes telling her of my reversion difficult. It makes what I have now embraced and hold near and dear the very thing that may make future visits to family difficult. I love my family very much but they seem to have very narrow views of the world around them. They are of the mindset do as we have always done.
I have found it is very beautiful here in this part of Canada but as I visit I realize that I could not live here and be true to myself or practice Islam as I would want. The closest prayers to where I am right now are Juma prayers on Fridays in New Glasgow 30 minutes away perhaps I can get there later today.
Sometimes I think i am lazy! After all I live in a big city and I have every convenience at my disposal. This can often mean for me bad habits- like eating on the fly, not keeping a neat and tidy place at all times, like wasting time watching tv, and playing on the computer…. there are many things that became bad habits over the years and really as I look at them now they are some of the things that separated me from God.
Upon entering Islam I found myself very much examining my life and how I live it. Really it has been much about existing and not really one of design or discipline. So how am I changing? How am I becoming more disciplined and developing good habits?
1. First i am getting up for fjur prayer. This is the first prayer of the day for a Muslim, it happens just before sunrise. Yes that means getting up early, and trying to go to bed at a decent hour so I can get up. Being up early means there is more practical time for me to get things done! Really I find early in the morning this woman can get alot done!
2. In the eveing instead of sitting in front of the tv watching mindless drivel I find myself instead wanting to learn, wanting to know more….this has made this woman realize that she has become a student again.
3. In trying to eat “halal” ( that which is good) I am cooking more and me and my daughter are eating better healthier foods.
4. Also there is a saying that cleanness is next to godliness and I am starting to agree, besides my apartment looks great and more gets done when it is neat and tidy and clean at all times. It simply is a better environment for me and my daughter.
What is a “shadada”? It is how one enters the doors of Islam. It is there statement of faith. It is a time of choice and I have made the choice and made my declaration of faith. I have made mine–all it takes is saying the below in Arabic in front of witnesses….
I believe there is one God! I also believe that Mohamed (PBUH) is his messenger!
Yes some here in the west will think I am making the wrong choice and on the wrong path but I do believe that God has me on this path. just as he has had a hand in all that I am and have been he is here too. For me Islam makes sense in an absolute way.
My christian friends I know will not be impressed, neither will my Mormon ones, but when it comes to embracing a new faith, a new way with it comes costs and I have counted those.
I am excited as I am fearful where this path will take me but I do know this that God is with me. Guess you can call me a Muslimah now.